Opinion
Ten Effective Ways to Cope with a Partner’s Anger Issues By Busola Abiodun Adeagbo
Anger is a complex emotion that can strain relationships, especially when one partner struggles with managing it effectively. Coping with a partner’s anger issues requires empathy, communication, and sometimes professional help. We’ll discuss five of the strategies to navigate this challenging situation in this part and discuss the remaining five in the concluding part of this post:
- Understand the Root Cause: Anger can stem from various sources such as past traumas, stress, or unresolved conflicts. Take the time to understand what triggers your partner’s anger and the underlying reasons behind it. This understanding can help both of you approach the issue with compassion and empathy.
- Practice Active Listening: When your partner expresses anger, listen actively without interrupting or judging then. Let them vent their feelings and frustrations while you remain calm and attentive. This can help de-escalate the situation and make your partner feel heard and validated.
- Set Boundaries: While it’s important to be understanding, it’s also crucial to set boundaries to protect yourself from verbal or physical harm. Clearly communicate what behaviours are unacceptable and establish consequences for crossing those boundaries. Enforce these boundaries consistently to maintain a healthy relationship dynamic. Never excuse a partners excesses in their moment of anger.
- Encourage Healthy Coping Mechanisms: Help your partner explore and adopt healthy ways to cope with their anger, such as deep breathing exercises, counting downward from 100-1, seeking therapy, etc. Offer your support and encouragement as they work towards managing their emotions more effectively.
- Communicate Effectively: Open and honest communication is essential in any relationship, especially when dealing with anger issues. Express your feelings and concerns calmly and assertively, using “I” statements to avoid blaming or accusing your partner. Encourage your partner to do the same.
- Seek Couples Therapy: If anger issues persist and strain your relationship, consider seeking professional help together. Couples therapy can provide a safe space to explore underlying issues, improve communication skills, and learn effective conflict resolution strategies. A qualified therapist can offer guidance and support tailored to your specific needs.
- Practice Self-Care: Coping with a partner’s anger issues can take a toll on your mental and emotional well-being. Prioritize self-care activities such as exercise, hobbies, spending time with supportive friends or family, and seeking individual therapy if needed. Taking care of yourself enables you to better support your partner while maintaining your own health and happiness.
- Know When to Seek Help: If your partner’s anger escalates to verbal or physical abuse, or if you feel unsafe in the relationship, seek help immediately. Contact a trusted friend, family member, or a local domestic violence hotline for support and guidance on how to safely exit the situation.
- Practice Emotional Regulation Techniques Together: Explore and practice emotional regulation techniques with your partner to help them manage their anger more effectively. This could include techniques such as mindfulness meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, or cognitive-behavioral strategies like identifying and challenging negative thought patterns. By engaging in these practices together, you not only support your partner’s journey towards better anger management but also strengthen your bond as a couple.
- Create a Safe Environment for Expression: Foster a safe and non-judgmental environment where your partner feels comfortable expressing their emotions without fear of criticism or rejection. Encourage them to communicate their feelings openly and assure them that you are there to listen and support them, even when they’re experiencing anger. Avoid responding defensively or escalating conflicts, and instead, focus on validating their emotions and finding constructive solutions together. This nurturing environment can help your partner feel understood and valued, promoting healthier ways of dealing with anger over time.
Remember that coping with a partner’s anger issues is a journey that requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to work together towards positive change. By fostering empathy, communication, and mutual respect, you can navigate this challenge and strengthen your relationship in the process.
Written with so much love in my heart for you 💗💗💗
Busola Abiodun Adeagbo
Your Winsome Marriage and Family Therapist
Opinion
Zacch Adedeji: And The Revenue Keeps Increasing By Rabiu Usman By Rabiu Usman
It was President Bola Tinubu that declared that in the first half of this year, the revenue of Nigeria soared to over N9.1 trillion, compared to the first half of 2023.For instance, N5.2 Trillion accrued into the Federation Account for the period January to June 2023, while a total of N7.3 Trillion accrued into the account for the period July to December, 2023.However, for June this year, accruals into the Federation Account rose to N2.483 trillion in June 2024. It was N2.324.792 trillion in May, meaning for the two months of May and June this year alone, about N4.8 trillion accrued into the Federation Account while N5.2 trillion accrued into the account for the first six months of last year.The President attributed the revenue increase to the government’s efforts in blocking leakages, introducing automation, and mobilizing funding creatively, all without placing an additional burden on the people.A few days after the President spoke glowingly of the considerable increase in the revenue of the country, a process being powered by the Federal Inland Revenue Service (FIRS), under the Chairmanship of Dr Zacch Adedeji, the Nigeria’s Zaccheus the Tax Collector, the World Bank also confirmed the progress being made in the area of revenue generation.The World Bank projected that following the recent increase in government revenue, Nigeria’s revenue-to-GDP ratio could rise to over 10.5 percent by the end of 2024.Ndiamé Diop, World Bank country director for Nigeria shared the forecast during an interactive session on ‘Fiscal Reforms for a More Secure Future’ at the 30th Nigerian Economic Summit, held in Abuja last month.Also, according to data released in September by the National Bureau of Statistics (NBS), Nigeria’s Value Added Tax (VAT) revenue increased by 99.82% year-over-year in the second quarter of 2024.During this period, total VAT revenue reached N1.56 trillion, a 9.11% increase compared to the previous quarter.The NBS report highlighted that the revenue growth was driven primarily by local payments, which brought in about $484 million, while foreign payments contributed $242 million. VAT on imports generated $228 million.However, despite the level of progress already made, the FIRS under Dr Zacch Adedeji is not done yet.Various innovations are daily being introduced to ensure seamless payment of taxes by Nigerians.Last week, the Taxpayer Services Department of the FIRS launched the new USSD code *829#, aimed at revolutionizing taxpayer engagement and access to essential tax services.According to the FIRS, the initiative was aimed at “simplifying tax processes and providing a seamless, efficient service experience.”With the *829# USSD code, taxpayers can now effortlessly access a range of services, including TIN retrieval, Tax Clearance Certificate (TCC) verification, and general inquiries all from the convenience of their mobile phones and with no need for internet access.Also, Zacch Adedeji is everywhere, explaining the four tax bills currently before the National Assembly, assuring that it will not reduce the funding or operational efficiency of government agencies.Last week Wednesday, Adedeji addressed the heads of the National Agency for Science and Engineering Infrastructure (NASENI), the National Information Technology Development Agency (NITDA), and the Tertiary Education Trust Fund (TETFUND) at the Revenue House in Abuja. He allayed concerns surrounding the proposal to rename the FIRS as the Nigeria Revenue Service (NRS), clarifying that the change is intended to streamline and improve agency efficiency.He said the main goal was to align government revenue practices with current fiscal demands to ensure all agencies are well-funded and effective.Adedeji further highlighted that the proposed legislation would enable government agencies to concentrate on their core responsibilities without the added task of revenue collection.“The bills, once enacted, will allow agencies to focus on their primary functions instead of managing tax collection duties,” he explained.Adedeji, who appears to have taken up the job of an Explainer concerning the new tax bills, further pointed out that the bills were the aftermath of President Tinubu’s administration recognition of the need for a unified tax code to reduce complexity and stimulate economic growth.Perhaps, by the time this is being read, Dr Zacch Adedeji, will be standing before another audience to explain the ideas behind the new tax bills and their capability to further sore up the revenue base of the country, because for him, the revenue must keep increasing.Usman, a public affairs commentator lives in Abuja.
Opinion
Why I Considered a Streaming Service Over GOtv
Growing up, we had cable television at home, but I paid little attention to the service provider’s name or how much was spent on the monthly subscription. That all changed when I moved out of my parent’s house and got my place earlier this year.After purchasing the necessary household appliances and furniture, I started thinking about getting a television. My options were either to buy a smart TV and use the streaming services available in Nigeria or get a regular LED TV and subscribe to a cable service provider. Since I was on a tight budget, I had to consider my options carefully.If I bought a smart TV, which is more expensive than a regular TV, and subscribed to various streaming services, I would not only need to pay for monthly subscriptions but also for internet service to watch the programs. Apart from the cost, I would also be limited in the variety of shows I could watch.On the other hand, if I opted for an LED TV, I would need to subscribe to a cable service provider. This would involve purchasing the necessary equipment and a subscription package. However, despite the cost, I would have access to a wide variety of content. I ultimately decided to go with this option.Next, I had to choose which cable service to subscribe to. During my research, I found out that GOtv was offering a price reduction on their GOtenna. Even though they had recently increased their subscription package prices, I could get the GOtenna and decoder for less than half the usual price, saving me about ₦30,000. I decided to subscribe to the Max package because it included all my favorite channels, such as Discovery ID, E! Entertainment, Africa Magic Epic, Yoruba, and movie channels. Plus, I only needed to renew the subscription monthly. The installation process was also seamless—the box came with everything required for installation. I only had to purchase extra cables due to the distance between my decoder and the pole’s location, and I needed a pole to mount the GOtenna. I also downloaded the GOtv Stream app so I could watch on the go or download my favorite shows to watch later.It’s been over three months since I started using GOtv, and I’m still enjoying the service. The picture quality is clear, and there’s more entertainment than I can keep up with. I often find myself switching between channels because I want to watch all my favourite shows at once. The only downside is that I might need to replace the batteries in my remote control frequently because of how much I flip through the channels.
Opinion
Dangote Refinery: Where National Interest Supercedes Personal Gain
By Best Agbese
The Dangote Refinery and Petrochemical Company, located in Lekki, a suburb of Lagos, is seven times the size of Victoria Island, another high-end area in Lagos State. The refinery boasts of more than 350 concrete bridges, a port for oil vessels, and approximately 5,000 neatly built apartments for its staff. The refinery also incorporates the largest granulated urea fertilizer complex in Africa and sits on 500 hectares of land.
Considering the gigantic scale of the newest refinery in the world, it would be apt to submit that Alhaji Aliko Dangote, the founder and CEO of the Dangote Group, is the epitome of courage, resilience, and patriotism. His readiness to contribute to the overall development and growth of the nation’s economy is evident in his numerous impactful interventions at critical moments in our nationhood.
Sincerely speaking, it takes great courage for an individual to envision a world-class gigantic project like the Dangote Refinery. In his case, Aliko Dangote not only visualized the possibility of constructing one of the world’s largest refinery plants but also saw it through to realization. For a businessman and entrepreneur to venture into such a capital-intensive project in an unpredictable business environment marked by policy flip-flops and unhealthy politicization is quite remarkable.
Only a patriotic investor who is deeply committed to the unity and economic growth of his country can attempt such a bold step. With this historic move in the oil sector, Aliko Dangote stands alone in the pantheon of patriotic business leaders in Nigeria.
One very notable fact is that the rising price of petroleum products in Nigeria has resulted in significant hardship, particularly for the average Nigerian. While the current hardship caused by the fuel subsidy removal, intended to address long-term economic challenges, has had a detrimental impact on many, the immediate effect of the subsidy removal policy has further exacerbated the wealth gap between the rich and the poor.
In the context of this harsh reality, one can conclude that the Dangote Refinery and Petrochemical Company represents a glimmer of hope for Nigerians. As one of the largest refineries in the world, located in Nigeria, the refinery has the potential to refine petroleum products locally, eliminating the need for costly imports that have reduced Nigeria to a “beggar nation” over the past decades.
Local production of Premium Motor Spirit (PMS) could reduce pricing, as there would be no need to factor in high landing costs associated with fuel importation. The Dangote Refinery, at full capacity, will process 650,000 barrels of crude oil daily, making it competitive with the United States’ largest refinery and over 50% bigger than the largest refinery in Europe.
Although the refinery is intended to refine domestically produced crude to bolster the heavily oil-dependent local economy, which has been marked by crises in recent times, it also can refine foreign crude. While the exit of Shell Exploration Company and other major international oil companies from the domestic market may pose challenges for the Dangote Refinery in terms of crude oil supplies and achieving its goal of changing the narrative in the nation’s oil sector, it is also important to acknowledge that the sheer scale of the Dangote Refinery will nonetheless turn Nigeria into an “oil market juggernaut”.
According to a recent New York Times report, although the refinery has yet to debut in the domestic and international market space, the Dangote Refinery is already making waves in the global market and has affected major market indicators and determinants. Aliko Dangote, the billionaire Nigerian businessman who spearheaded the refinery’s construction and development, is well aware of the challenges facing the nation’s oil and gas sector.
He has repeatedly reiterated his commitment to driving the troubled sector towards efficiency and reliability. His mission is to make a positive impact on the capacity and fortunes of local refineries across the country. To many, including cynics who doubted that an individual could successfully build one of the world’s largest refineries, the knowledge of the refinery’s impact on the global energy index must have generated a highly positive response.
It is noteworthy that the Nigerian economy, which has experienced slow growth over the last 20 years, is set to witness a dramatic turnaround in the coming months. The positive impact of the Dangote Refinery on the nation’s economy will translate to a better standard of living for every Nigerian. It will reflect directly on Nigeria’s foreign reserve, reducing pressure on the Naira and stabilizing commodity and fuel prices.
Certainly, the Dangote Refinery and Petrochemical Company is a game-changer for Nigeria, meeting domestic needs and producing a surplus for export. Already, the refinery has resumed production of high-quality Premium Motor Spirit (PMS), which is set to enter the domestic market. Aviation fuel and other products are expected to be rolled out into both domestic and international markets within September.
Candidly, Aliko Dangote has put many naysayers to shame. They were wondering how possible it would be for an individual to accomplish what a country or a continent could not achieve. In a nutshell, the Dangote Refinery and Petrochemical Company symbolizes not only the strength and potential of Nigeria’s industry but also the dedication, patriotism, and vision of one of Nigeria’s most esteemed business leaders, Alhaji Dr. Aliko Dangote.
Therefore, it is succinctly true to admit with all sense of patriotism that although Aliko Dangote is not a saint, he has given Nigerians something to be proud of as a country. The Dangote Refinery and Petrochemical Company may become what Toyota is to Japan and what Citroen is to France – a brand and a source of pride.
Agbese is an oil and gas expert based in Dundee, United Kingdom.
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