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Indeed, Gov AbdulRazaq is Baba-for-the-Youth!

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By Murtado Sulaimon

Last week, one of the appointees of Kwara State Governor AbdulRahman AbdulRazaq called him Baba-for-the-Youth, referring to his government’s applaudable investments in youths, which most observers agree are unprecedented in the country given that no state Governor has trusted young people with power, influence and authority.

Two months ago, a friend and columnist from a neighbouring state wrote an article where he curiously asked why the governor of his State is not taking a leaf out of Governor AbdulRazaq’s book by empowering and investing in the youths of the State whose votes significantly contributed to his emergence in 2019 and 2023.

My friend noted that while AbdulRazaq was determined to build the next generation of leaders, the Governor of his state is not conscious of posterity and has continued to hurt the youths whose only sin was massively voting for him with the hope that he would empower, invest and replicate the giant strides of the likes Mallam AbdulRazaq.

That AbdulRahman AbdulRazaq’s empowerment and appointment of youths into leadership positions has contributed to being a reference point and particularly reported by traditional and new media is not surprising. This is what happens when you choose a different path from your predecessors in your efforts to build the next generation of leaders.

There’s no gainsaying that no governor has contributed significantly to the development of the youth like Governor AbdulRazaq since Kwara was created decades ago. Not even the dictator and heir of the banished Saraki dynasty who plundered his God-given opportunity to represent Nigerians at the 8th National Assembly. He would later have nothing to show for his stint at the Red Chamber when legislators with lower rankers were commissioning giant projects in their constituencies.

Even as AbdulRahman AbdulRazaq’s massive investments in youths have continued to yield fruits across sectors, particularly in sport and education these days, the governor, while filling questions from journalists, recently assured Kwara youths that his administration will continue to prioritise their development regardless of background.

Indeed, AbdulRazaq is Baba-for-the-Youth. He’s appointed the youths in the state as commissioners, SSAs, SAs, and heads of agencies, recommended them for federal opportunities, and invested in their education, sporting activities and businesses. Yet, he says the youth community should expect more from him, noting that his government will continue prioritising their development.

Governor AbdulRazaq has raised the bar. He has surpassed the standard. Deliberate in thought and action, Governor Abdulrazaq has etched his name on the sand of time as the most youth-friendly Governor in Nigeria and beyond. His adversaries can only be jealous of his unwavering commitment to youth involvement in the decision-making process.

Sulaimon writes from Ilorin, Kwara State.

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Opinion

Ten Effective Ways to Cope with a Partner’s Anger Issues By Busola Abiodun Adeagbo

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Anger is a complex emotion that can strain relationships, especially when one partner struggles with managing it effectively. Coping with a partner’s anger issues requires empathy, communication, and sometimes professional help. We’ll discuss five of the strategies to navigate this challenging situation in this part and discuss the remaining five in the concluding part of this post:

  1. Understand the Root Cause: Anger can stem from various sources such as past traumas, stress, or unresolved conflicts. Take the time to understand what triggers your partner’s anger and the underlying reasons behind it. This understanding can help both of you approach the issue with compassion and empathy.
  2. Practice Active Listening: When your partner expresses anger, listen actively without interrupting or judging then. Let them vent their feelings and frustrations while you remain calm and attentive. This can help de-escalate the situation and make your partner feel heard and validated.
  3. Set Boundaries: While it’s important to be understanding, it’s also crucial to set boundaries to protect yourself from verbal or physical harm. Clearly communicate what behaviours are unacceptable and establish consequences for crossing those boundaries. Enforce these boundaries consistently to maintain a healthy relationship dynamic. Never excuse a partners excesses in their moment of anger.
  4. Encourage Healthy Coping Mechanisms: Help your partner explore and adopt healthy ways to cope with their anger, such as deep breathing exercises, counting downward from 100-1, seeking therapy, etc. Offer your support and encouragement as they work towards managing their emotions more effectively.
  5. Communicate Effectively: Open and honest communication is essential in any relationship, especially when dealing with anger issues. Express your feelings and concerns calmly and assertively, using “I” statements to avoid blaming or accusing your partner. Encourage your partner to do the same.
  6. Seek Couples Therapy: If anger issues persist and strain your relationship, consider seeking professional help together. Couples therapy can provide a safe space to explore underlying issues, improve communication skills, and learn effective conflict resolution strategies. A qualified therapist can offer guidance and support tailored to your specific needs.
  7. Practice Self-Care: Coping with a partner’s anger issues can take a toll on your mental and emotional well-being. Prioritize self-care activities such as exercise, hobbies, spending time with supportive friends or family, and seeking individual therapy if needed. Taking care of yourself enables you to better support your partner while maintaining your own health and happiness.
  8. Know When to Seek Help: If your partner’s anger escalates to verbal or physical abuse, or if you feel unsafe in the relationship, seek help immediately. Contact a trusted friend, family member, or a local domestic violence hotline for support and guidance on how to safely exit the situation.
  9. Practice Emotional Regulation Techniques Together: Explore and practice emotional regulation techniques with your partner to help them manage their anger more effectively. This could include techniques such as mindfulness meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, or cognitive-behavioral strategies like identifying and challenging negative thought patterns. By engaging in these practices together, you not only support your partner’s journey towards better anger management but also strengthen your bond as a couple.
  10. Create a Safe Environment for Expression: Foster a safe and non-judgmental environment where your partner feels comfortable expressing their emotions without fear of criticism or rejection. Encourage them to communicate their feelings openly and assure them that you are there to listen and support them, even when they’re experiencing anger. Avoid responding defensively or escalating conflicts, and instead, focus on validating their emotions and finding constructive solutions together. This nurturing environment can help your partner feel understood and valued, promoting healthier ways of dealing with anger over time.

Remember that coping with a partner’s anger issues is a journey that requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to work together towards positive change. By fostering empathy, communication, and mutual respect, you can navigate this challenge and strengthen your relationship in the process.

Written with so much love in my heart for you 💗💗💗

Busola Abiodun Adeagbo
Your Winsome Marriage and Family Therapist

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Opinion

Leadership Means Always Believing in Better – CEO, Sterling Bank

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Abubakar Suleiman, the Chief Executive Officer of Sterling Bank Limited, delivered an enlightening discourse on leadership during the prestigious Lagos Leadership Summit 2024, powered by the Lateef Jakande Leadership Academy, shedding light on the profound essence of effective leadership and its transformative impact on society. 

At the heart of Suleiman’s message was the concept of leadership as a catalyst for change—a force that propels individuals and organizations towards a shared vision of progress and prosperity. He eloquently articulated that leadership transcends mere management; it is about inspiring others to embrace a compelling vision of the future and empowering them to contribute meaningfully toward its realization.

Drawing from his wealth of experience, Suleiman emphasized the importance of purpose-driven leadership—a leadership style rooted in a deep sense of mission and conviction. He underscored that true leaders are not just managers of the status quo; they are visionaries who dare to imagine a better world and possess the courage to pursue that vision relentlessly.

Throughout his address, Suleiman explored the multifaceted nature of purpose, examining its manifestations in various spheres of life. He delved into the dynamics of family leadership, highlighting the timeless principles of sacrifice, dedication, and unconditional love that characterize effective parental leadership. Similarly, he underscored the profound influence of religion, emphasizing the role of faith in inspiring individuals to strive for a higher purpose and contribute to the common good.

Furthermore, Suleiman introduced the Japanese concept of Ikigai—a philosophy that encapsulates the intersection of passion, vocation, mission, and profession. He elucidated how identifying one’s Ikigai is a compass for navigating life’s complexities, guiding individuals to a fulfilling existence driven by purpose and meaning.

To addressing the pervasive issue of entitlement versus gratitude, Suleiman offered profound insights into the corrosive effects of entitlement on leadership effectiveness. He challenged the prevailing culture of entitlement, urging individuals to cultivate a spirit of gratitude and humility. According to Suleiman, true leaders are not defined by what they expect to receive but by what they are willing to give. They embody a spirit of selflessness, service, and sacrifice—a willingness to put the needs of others above their own.

In conclusion, Suleiman’s discourse brought to the fore timeless principles of purpose-driven leadership, gratitude, and sacrifice as essential attributes of effective leadership. His compelling insights serve as a clarion call to aspiring leaders everywhere, urging them to embrace their innate potential to lead with vision, integrity, and compassion.

About Sterling Bank
Sterling Bank is a leading financial institution committed to driving economic growth through innovative financial solutions. With a focus on empowering businesses and individuals, Sterling Bank has consistently played a pivotal role in the development of the Nigerian economy.

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Opinion

Eight Ways To Overcome Daddy Issues By Busola Abiodun Adeagbo

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“Daddy issues” is a term often used to describe the emotional struggles that individuals, particularly women, may face due to unresolved issues with their fathers. These issues can stem from various factors, including absence, neglect, abuse, or strained relationships with their fathers.

These issues may manifest in a lot of ways including diminished self-confidence, challenges building trust, and struggles in cultivating positive relationships.

While navigating daddy issues can be challenging, it is possible to heal and cultivate healthy relationships and self-esteem. Here are eight strategies to overcome daddy issues and thrive.

  1. Acknowledge and Validate Your Feelings: The first step in overcoming daddy issues is acknowledging and accepting your feelings. It’s essential to recognize that your emotions are valid and that it’s okay to feel hurt, angry, or sad about the relationship with your father.
  2. Understand the Root of Your Daddy Issues: Take the time to explore the root causes of your daddy issues. Reflect on your childhood experiences and how they have influenced your perceptions of yourself and relationships. Understanding the underlying factors can help you address and work through these issues effectively.
  3. Seek Therapy: Therapy can provide a safe space to explore your feelings, gain insights into your behaviour patterns, and develop coping strategies. At Buzz-Aid Therapy we can offer guidance, support, and tools to help you navigate and heal from your daddy issues and become a better version of yourself.
  4. Set Boundaries: Setting boundaries is crucial for protecting your emotional well-being and establishing healthy relationships. Learn to assertively communicate your needs and limits in relationships, including with your father if he is still present in your life. Boundaries can help you maintain a sense of control and autonomy.
  5. Practice Self-Compassion: Be gentle with yourself as you navigate the journey of healing from daddy issues. Practice self-compassion by treating yourself with kindness, understanding, and forgiveness. Remember that healing takes time, and it’s okay to progress at your own pace.
  6. Cultivate Healthy Relationships: Surround yourself with supportive and nurturing relationships that uplift and empower you. Build connections with friends, mentors, or romantic partners who respect and value you for who you are. Healthy relationships can counteract the negative effects of daddy issues and foster healing.
  7. Focus on Self-Development:
    Invest in your personal growth and development by pursuing activities and interests that bring you joy and fulfillment. Whether it’s pursuing hobbies, furthering your education, or engaging in self-care practices, prioritizing self-development can boost your self-esteem and confidence.
  8. Practice Forgiveness: Forgiveness is a powerful tool in the healing process. While forgiving your father may not excuse his actions or behaviour, it can release you from the burden of resentment and bitterness. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself, allowing you to let go of the past and move forward with peace.

In conclusion, overcoming daddy issues is a journey that requires courage, self-reflection, and resilience. By acknowledging your feelings, seeking support, and fostering self-compassion, you can heal from past wounds and create a brighter future for yourself. Remember that you are deserving of love, respect, and happiness, regardless of your relationship with your father. With patience and determination, you can overcome daddy issues and embrace a life filled with self-love and fulfillment.

Busola Abiodun Adeagbo
Marriage and Family Therapist

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